A Random Short Story

I was listening to NPR this weekend and they had a reading/audio session of Jane Eyre. I really enjoyed it - so I decided to get silly and get my own going...

I present to you, my funny take on a Bronte Novel.

Maggie Come Home

A Lost Bronte Novel

by me :-)

Maggie Mystery Shopper is a lovable and grateful orphan raised by a spiteful and violent brother. Eventually she gets a job working as a doctor for the optimistic Lord Torrance of Torrance School. The unlikely couple rapidly succumb to a incredible passion.

On the day of their wedding, a tactless nun escapes from the attic of Torrance School and starts a fire. Believing that Lord Torrance is dead, Maggie flees from the church and wanders the icy moors for days until she is rescued by a bold housekeeper.

However, although Lord Torrance is blinded by the fire, he still breathes. Without Maggie he becomes selfish and controlling. He turns to alcohol for comfort. The ghost of the nun from the attic haunts him.

Meanwhile, thinking Lord Torrance is dead, Maggie accepts a marriage proposal from her savior, the housekeeper. However, one night she believes she can hear Lord Torrance calling, "Maggie, where are you? Maggie come home!" and she returns to Torrance School.

On Maggie's return, she finds Lord Torrance drunk and without sight. Mistaking her for the ghost of the tactless nun, he attacks her with a rifle and Maggie Mystery Shopper dies.

As he attends to the body, Lord Torrance realizes what he has done. Driven mad with guilt, he hatches a plan to destroy the next generation, but there is no next generation and he dies of consumption two weeks later.

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"One of the most incredible romances ever told. It makes you want to rush out and get a job as a Lord's doctor."
- The Daily Tale

"I feel more passion when I flush away my daily business than I did reading this book, but Maggie Come Home does warn us against the dangers of keeping a tactless nun in the attic."
- Enid Kibbler

"I'd rather marry a bold housekeeper than a selfish Lord but each to his own."
- Hit the Spoof

"I could do better."
- Zob Gloop

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Have a great Monday!